Yoga has been an essential part of my life since 2009. It was the beginning of a new era for me. It was a seemingly coincidental appearance. I went straight to the unknown, confronting my highest and deepest fears and doubts about myself and life in general. It was an enormous clash of two dwelling worlds-the world of my past and my future self. It was later on when I had realized that these two worlds needed to come to destruction, so that my present self can be born.
It did change my life. I know it is this generation’s cliche to say so, but I was a copy of someone else, of something unspeakably unauthentic. So I took the leap of faith and I thought to myself…”Do you know what? This is the one thing I’m going to do for myself. I need to go against the grain. I’m tired of living by the book. It is a safe place, nobody knows about it.”
Yoga was a confusing practice for most people back then. It was mystical and misunderstood. I went to yoga classes once a week for an year and then at one point it went over the roof. It felt like the only thing that had ever really mattered to me. I could feel my body alive and my heart nourished. I was excited about every meeting on Saturday when we chanted the sacred mantras and kirtans, when we would converse about Indian gurus and share their wisdom and insights, we would even go further … talking about our subtle inner bodies, the purpose of our souls and aliens. For the first time in my life I felt like I belonged.
A few years later, after mainly practicing Hatha yoga I heard about Core Strength Vinyasa and Ashtanga yoga. That’s when my world was really thrown into expansion beyond my imagination. My parents would look at me strangely…they didn’t know how to react at first about my addiction to practicing every single day. I would wait for them to leave for work and start a two hours of Ashtanga Primary Series. It was hard! Man, I still cannot believe when people tell me…”OK, so what is yoga all about-just doing what you want, relaxing and feeling good?”. I have my mouth open and smile and don’t answer anything…because yoga is so much more than this mistaken believe.
Yoga has been my teacher. I think my only real one. Yoga is the space inside your mind, heart and body where anything is possible, everything is attractive and infinite possibilities can blossom. It is a space of sacred knowigness that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. But the price to pay is consistency, dedication and determination to go beyond what you’ve been taught about the physical world.
Your body starts to change, you start seeing things through a completely different perspective, you put on a sacred gown that will stay with you forever. You walk straight into the unknown willingly and with an open heart. You put your leg behind your back and feel the pain, the uncomfortable stretch of your inner thighs and tissues. And yet you are happy and smiling that you have gone this far and proved yourself that our limitations are only our minds’ job.
You change your style of living, you find a way to practice in the morning and work your schedule out at work in the evenings. Your skin and eyes are glowing in the dark like those of a vampire exposed to the sunlight of the dawn. People don’t even recognize you anymore.
I got pregnant in 2014. I gained double the pounds I was at my best shape…and because of yoga I trimmed back again and now I’m back to it. That’s when yoga thought me about one of my greatest sufferings – it does not matter how your body looks like. It matters whether you feel alive. And if you do…nothing else really matters at all.
I could go on and on…But I’d rather leave it to you. Follow your excitements and find freedom into the beauty of doing what you love no matter what.